Weird Science - Where no one knows what "science" is

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I’m on a John Hughes roll, but this one should keep rolling. I’d seen this one as a young man, and it held a higher position in my memory than it will now. Many of the same themes from The Breakfast Club appear here, but they are accompanied by awful, awful racism (Anthony Michael Hall doing an entire scene drunk and in a “Black voice” which is neither funny nor short-lived), Bill Paxton being turned into a Jabba the Hutt-type disgusting blob, and

The plot: Anthony Michael Hall and some other guy who can’t act at all are lonely and home alone for the weekend so they use a “computer” to create a beautiful life-like woman (seriously, watch this clip), who then takes a shower with them, goes to the mall, throws a party, wreaks havoc at the party, and then masterminds it so two popular girls will fall for them. Along the way, Robert Downey Jr. falls for the fake woman (Lisa) and he tries to get the guys to make a second woman for him and his friend. That fails, but then Lisa sends in some scary biker dudes who confront our “heroes” by taking the popular girls. The guys stand them down, the damsels are non-distressed, and Bill Paxton learns to be nice to his younger brother.

Look, this movie has no higher purpose, nor does it claim them. It’s stupid, goofy, non-sensical, and that would be fine if it were innocent fun. But there’s just enough racism, just enough misogyny to make it uncomfortable at times, and unfunny the rest. And for a movie with an outrageous plot, it’s surprisingly unoriginal. That racist voice AMH does here? He did two sentences of it in The Breakfast Club. In both movies he also claims to have a girlfriend in Canada. (Is this something people did before the Internet?) And again, it’s the cool kids against the losers, who find common ground when (contrived) challenges arise.

Enough of this. Don’t watch this. Watch any other John Hughes movie. Pick any one.

Weird Science: 1 of Patrick Swayze’s abs.