Ghost, or the one with Unchained Melody

When I first saw this movie as a kid, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The concept – a man’s ghost stays on earth to avenge his murder and save the life of his girlfriend – was exciting. Carl Bruner, the movie’s villain, is an all-time bad guy; a sleazeball in the tradition of Wall Street played with an immensely hateable unpleasantness. And who could forget the iconic moments? Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore at the pottery wheel (he’s corporeal in this scene, no matter what you guys may think). Willy Lopez being dragged to Hell. Patrick Swayze embodying Whoopi Goldberg and kissing Demi one more time.

But watching the movie again this week, I was disappointed. It’s an incredibly slow build to the climax, and for a two-hour movie, not much happens. Sam Wheat (Patrick Swayze) dies early in the movie then spends the rest of the film with a series of pained/surprised/horrified looks on his face as he very slowly unravels the mystery of his death and learns of his friend’s betrayal. That’s it. With the help of a convicted con artist turned “spiritual advisor” who can hear him (Ode Mae, played by Whoopi), he exposes Carl for what he did and saves the lives of both Demi and Whoopi.

Beyond the plot, the special effects are awful. Despite this, they still make a point of emphasizing every ghost-related movement with a loud sound effect, which only draws attention to the thick black lines and green screen. I don’t totally understand why walking through a wall or pushing a soda can would produce a “WHOOSH” sound, but then again, I doubt that a ghost could apprehend its own killer.

The performances are good. Whoopi Goldberg is great interacting with first Sam’s ghost then the other ghosts that pop up. And the scene where she withdraws the stolen money, wearing a garish pink dress and hat, is genuinely funny. And of course, the Swayze faces are terrific. Demi Moore cries a lot. She’s a trooper. But really, Tony Goldwyn’s Carl steals the film. He’s just so awful, so manipulative, so condescending, and so despicable. Watching him hit on his best friend’s widow just weeks after his funeral is disgusting. And his manic behavior after losing the money he was laundering, the frantic nastiness he oozes is fantastic. I’ve never enjoyed watching someone be dragged kicking and screaming to hell more.

The movie is worth watching if only for Patrick Swayze’s hair and pants that he wears way too high. And the faces. He makes some great faces. Other than that, I’d stick with Road House or Red Dawn.

I give Ghost 3 ½ of 6 Swayze abs.