Three Amigos! - where everyone speaks English

There was a period in the early 90s when I watched Three Amigos! quite a few times. So many times, in fact, that I can still recite many of the scenes from memory. And as a child, the rocking musical number "My Little Buttercup" was a favorite of mine.

As great as it was then, it's even better watching it now that I'm older.

As a kid, I appreciated many of the jokes, the hilarious Three Amigos salute, the physical humor, the absurdity of many of the situations, and most of the things Chevy Chase did. But as an adult, I appreciate even more. The subtle puns and play on words. The fact that it is based on the classic film, The Magnificent Seven. The spoofs of silent films. And the probing, exhaustive look at race relations in the west of the early 20th century.

Just kidding. Those are stunningly stereotypical Mexicans.

The Three Amigos - Dusty Bottoms (Chevy Chase), Lucky Day (Steve Martin), and Ned Nederlander (Martin Short) - are movie stars in the silent film age, one-reel heroes of the west. They have a salary dispute with the studio and find themselves unemployed just as they receive an offer from a small Mexican town to help save them from a local crime lord, El Guapo. They assume this El Guapo is a legend of the Mexican screen, that they are going to be doing a show with him, and that they will be paid handsomely.


They arrive in town and have a nice party when El Guapo's men arrive, looking for their annual payoff. The Three Amigos, believing it part of the show, manage to scare off his men with their wild act and mad enthusiasm. However, El Guapo returns, shoots Lucky in the foot, drives the Amigos off, loots the town, and takes a female hostage, whom Lucky had fallen for. The Amigos, disgraced, decide that they will save the girl and save the village.

They infiltrate El Quapo's stronghold just as some pesky Germans are delivering a stockpile of weapons and successfully and with much comedic relief, escape with the girl. El Guapo chases them back to the village, where the Amigos have encouraged the townspeople to fight back. El Guapo is defeated, Lucky gets the girl, and the Amigos refuse the money.

 

I could go on and on talking about all the great scenes and lines from this movie. But I will describe one that I think best represents the brilliance and stupidity that make this movie so great. The Amigos, traveling through the desert, think they have reached the fabled singing bush. Now, to be clear, the bush is loudly singing and gesticulating with its branches very excitedly, but the three guys are unsure they've found the singing bush. "Are you the singing bush?" Lucky shouts over the signing, getting no answer. They eventually decide that it is in fact the signing bush, and they each do the required ritual (to summon the invisible swordsman, of course) which ends by shooting their guns in the air. Only Dusty, going last, shoots sideways, hitting the invisible man.

"Great! You've killed the invisible swordsman!" Lucky says looking incredulous after an invisible mass hits the ground. "You were supposed to fire up! We both fired up!" Ned walks over and picks up an invisible arm and drops it. Dead.

And that's it. They come to the bush to find a guide and kill him. They leave and still find their way to El Guapo. There is essentially no reason for this scene - or the singing bush, or the invisible swordsman - other than to a) listen to the guys make ludicrous noises before shooting a pistol and b) highlight the harebrained nature of the entire movie.

Three Amigos is a fun ride, and the three SNL stalwarts are each amazing in this film. I defy you to watch this movie and not laugh out loud a few dozens times. Seriously. I would love to hear anyone's opinion on this one, because in the Scott house, this ranks very high.

Three Amigos: 6 out of 6 Patrick Swayze abs. (I'll stand by this.)

Extra abs

- John Landis also directed this one. Another American classic.

- "Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there. Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find the Three Amigos!

- El Guapo is Spanish for "the Handsome One," as anyone who watches this movie could probably infer.

- "In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo!"

- Steve Martin does the lasso tricks himself. Apparently, he learned them working in a magic shop as a kid.

- "Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?"