Footloose - where young, skinny Kevin Bacon teaches a town to dance

I assume you all know the plot of this movie, so rather than unsuccessfully review it, I’m just going to repost what I live-tweeted while watching it tonight. Enjoy! (Or don’t. I don’t care.)

• Kevin Bacon drives to school the first day with his music way too loud. No way that's gonna fly 
• I knew it was going to be trouble - $25 fine. Shoulda stayed off the lawn.
• Can you get a papercut from a laminated Illinois driver's license?
• Um ... Kevin Bacon is a gymnast? He's the complete package.
• I enjoy how their "Southern" accents come and go from scene to scene.
• There are definitely not enough tractor chicken fights in American movies
• I can honestly say I never thought I'd see Kevin Bacon drive a tractor.
• "Oh no, the frustrated dance scene!" - my wife

• I love 80s movies - what happened to having montages of scenes from the first 30 minutes of the movie half an hour in?
• Run away, Kevin Bacon! This chick is crazy!
• Can't believe John Lithgow slapped her. Then told his wife that people just run out of things to say.
• If nothing else, #Footloose has a great soundtrack.
• Attention - second montage of the movie! And this one has Chris Penn and Kevin Bacon dancing together, sharing a walkman.

• I knew I recognized her red boots - Ted Mosby stole them! #Footloose #HIMYM
• She's getting hit in the face a lot. I could probably do without all this.
• At least she finally convinced Kevin Bacon to kiss her. Black eye and all.
• "I just know when children dance, they become sexually irresponsible." John Lithgow just described my 7th grade dance
• Can a woman really get fired because her son is planning a dance? I smell lawsuit!
• "Fraught with genuine peril" I want to go to the dances that John Lithgow must have attended in the 60s! They sound super fun.
• Oh snap! Bible says dancing is great. Your move, Reverend sex party.
• Also, did no one ever notice that what's her face got beaten up by her ex-boyfriend? That was quite a black eye she got.
• A good old fashion book burning! I'd say it's like 19th century America, but it's really 21st century North Carolina.
• The preacher stops the book burning. He's turning! A dance can't be far behind.
• The preacher came around! Kevin Bacon is smiling! This is happening, people! Dancing! Fornication!
• Maybe no one is dancing because this song is awful ...
• It's true! John Lithgow heard a song outside the dance and kissed his wife. Devil's work!
• This is definitely the best dance-fight since West Side Story.

• I need a glitter cloud every time I enter a room.
• Little known fact: American Glitter Company stock rose 300% following the release of this movie.
• There are probably going to be 39 new babies nine months after this dance.
• Movie over. Dance a success. No alcohol. No babies. I'd say it was a great success. Aside from those 4 unconscious bullies outside.

This was a fun movie. I'd never actually seen it from start to finish, and for that I am very sorry. I probably would have been a dancer had I seen this movie in the 80s. Instead, what am I? Not Kevin Bacon, I'll tell you that.

Footloose: 5 of Patrick Swayze’s 6 abs.